Those Who are Waited for With Beautiful Music
From the Series “With Babies”
Q: You talk about expectant, and not pregnant mothers. Why is that?
A: “Pregnant” is an infelicitous expression: the mother is not bearing a burden, but a child. Is that a burden? The Hungarian expression “in a blessed state” is more real, but is a bit difficult to use.
Q: Did you deal with expectant mothers earlier too?
A: Yes, they have always received special attention on my courses; during name singing we sang the names of those who were listening to the tune in their mother’s womb. For those who did not yet know their names (because at those times we could not know the child’s sex in advance) we sang a fabled name.
Q: What kind of fabled names?
A: Oh, trust children, they will invent hundreds of them. We have already had: goldfish, March breeze, purple petal, baby with the fairies’ feet, round dough, eavesdropping mouse, it is different all the time. All this went on with great joy and laughter. The children also chose a farewell-song to the baby, and at that point they were allowed to put their ears on the mother’s belly, to listen.
Q: Mothers didn’t mind this?
A: No, they liked it very much, when they could share the joy of their child’s movements with other children.
Q: Now, however, you have classes specially designed for expectant mothers, don’t you?
A: Yes, they receive a special music programme with singing and musical movement.
Q: What movements accompanied the singing?
A: Spontaneous movements, freestyle. There are people who move around happily with their big bellies, easily, flying. In Catalonia, near Barcelona we filmed Estrella’s dance on one of my courses. She was a music teacher, expecting her first child, in the sixth month. In the film we can see how she is flying, leaning and spinning around, her beautiful long black hair floating, to Bach’s music. It is an amazing sight, my heart warms up whenever I watch it.
Q: But not everybody is this free, are they?
No, Estrella is exceptional. But with a bit of encouragement most of the expectant mothers will move, and if they have to be cautious about their movements, they will dance with their hands or their faces. It is not the quality of the movement but that of the music reception that counts.
Q: What does this mean?
We do the same at my children’s courses: we cherish the internal attention, even if the child hardly moves, or moves clumsily, or lies prone under the table and follows the music with his/her facial movements. Or even if there are no visible signs of his/her movements.
Q: Is this how your courses differ from other dancing activities?
A: Yes, this is a very important difference. Movement is not obligatory in our classes, it is only an opportunity. Still, the very fact that they can move changes their way of listening to music completely.
Q: What do you consider the most important?
A: The quality of the chosen piece of music. As I believe, this is decisive in the life within the womb, and it is an experience for life. This is where mother and child meet, in this noble music. They meet spiritually, in their bodies, in their body-liquids and vibrations. It is an enviable state; only mothers can experience it, fathers and grandparents can’t. Still, we do everything to provide fathers and grandparents with as direct experiences as possible, since they are also parents even though they do not give birth. It is nice, isn’t it?
Q: I have heard about a lot of pregnant courses where they use relaxing music. Why don’t you use such pieces?
A: I always bring music from which my deepest experiences are born. In my teaching I deal with my students in a way that they can get direct access to my soul. I don’t use “methods”, but share with them what I found the most beautiful and most important in my life, what guarantees my survival, my development as a human being, my feeling of security and my liberty.
Q: What kind of novelties have you introduced?
A: I give the parents tapes of music to take away and listen to at home. I ask them to watch their children’s movements like whether they show some interest during the repetitions. I don’t mean a scientific observation, just loving attention.
Q: Wouldn’t you like to do some scientific research in this theme?
A: I would, but that needs a different kind of preparation. At these times, however, I try to support the mother’s emotional relationship with music and her child.
Q: Do mothers need help?
A: Yes, they do. It varies from person to person how and in what sense. I know a woman who could write poetry about the joys of expecting a baby. I was listening to her, enchanted. She said she felt from the moment of her conception the baby’s presence, and she always feels it, not only in her movements, but in her breath as well. Not all of can live in such a joyfully blessed state, though.
Q: Did mothers ask for music to be played during their delivery?
A: Yes, this is a new thing, too, in some of the hospitals it is allowed now to give birth to the sound of music one chooses. The child’s coming into this world can be accompanied by such sounds that the mother chooses for him or her. The child may cooperate in this if he or she has already communicated from within what pieces he or she likes.
Q: How could the child communicate this?
A: With his or her movements. They have signals of joy. What a beautiful experience it must be if they hear their favourite piece of music with their first breath, the music they got to like inside the womb, splashing around in the nicely lukewarm amniotic fluids.
Q: So far you have only talked about the mother. What about the other parent?
A: Fathers are very important to me for personal reasons. My brother, my son and my son-in-law are examples of love on the bases of which I learnt to appreciate paternal emotions. They provided examples for their children through the special beauty of their care and attention. I have also met many good fathers during my years of teaching: they participated in the classes, and they can be seen on the films, too. One of them rolls together with his little daughter to Schubert’s music. Another one is helping his child to jump to Mozart’s music. A third one is cradling his child in his lap.
Q: Was it difficult to involve fathers in musical movement?
A: Not at all, they participated with as much pleasure as mothers and grandmothers did. Of course there were fathers who were reading the newspapers while their two children were dancing solos. Fortunately, fathers of the latter type did not come regularly, they appeared only on some special occasions. But I have also had children who came with their fathers, and I have not even seen their mothers.
Q: Were these fathers who divorced or separated from their wives?
A: Yes, they were divorced fathers. It is a great ordeal for some fathers that after the separation they cannot participate in the evening rituals of going to bed or telling a tale. They don’t help the child go to the toilet at night anymore, they can no longer console their children or wash them if they have vomited. The everyday tasks related to the body disappear. There is no bathing, and feeding becomes rare, too. What remains?
Q: How can your classes make up for these?
A: Such things can’t be made up for. Yet it is possible to experience moments full of emotions together, the two of them, the father and the child. They find safety in the fact that at these times they pay complete attention to each other, constantly. This is nothing more than one or two hours a week, but one can prepare for it, and remember it.
Q: How do you organize the participation of fathers in the classes with pregnant mothers?
A: I can’t organize their presence, nowadays they don’t have time during the day, they usually work. But I can discuss with the mothers that they should listen together to the music I give them, and that they should sing together our songs.
Q: Even those who have no ear for music?
A: Indeed, even those who are unmusical: they learn new ideas, and being tone-deaf is not an obstacle. They can sing their own tunes.
Q: Out of tune?
A: No! Differently. The child will joyfully listen to the sound of the loved father’s voice, no matter whether he has found the tune of the song or is just wandering around it.
Q: What happens later? If the child has good musical hearing and realizes that the father is singing a different tune?
A: I think the child will hug his father. That is what our children do.